Obituaries

John Gill
B: 1934-10-07
D: 2020-03-25
View Details
Gill, John
Helen Goodman
B: 1937-08-13
D: 2020-03-16
View Details
Goodman, Helen
Lillian Bledsoe
B: 1936-04-30
D: 2020-03-13
View Details
Bledsoe, Lillian
Daisy Hill
B: 1931-07-05
D: 2020-03-07
View Details
Hill, Daisy
Robert Gardner
B: 1943-05-09
D: 2020-03-03
View Details
Gardner, Robert
Margaret Phillips
B: 1952-03-27
D: 2020-02-26
View Details
Phillips, Margaret
Annie Palmer
B: 1946-12-01
D: 2020-02-17
View Details
Palmer, Annie
Ralph Moore
B: 1931-08-17
D: 2020-02-12
View Details
Moore, Ralph
Bertha Elder
B: 1940-07-01
D: 2020-02-05
View Details
Elder, Bertha
Trent Oliver
B: 1968-05-30
D: 2020-02-02
View Details
Oliver, Trent
Bettie Minks
B: 1952-03-10
D: 2020-02-02
View Details
Minks, Bettie
Tony Hughes
B: 1942-01-07
D: 2020-02-01
View Details
Hughes, Tony
Patricia Carter-Brooks
B: 1954-03-05
D: 2020-02-01
View Details
Carter-Brooks, Patricia
Glenadene Evans
B: 1932-09-18
D: 2020-01-28
View Details
Evans, Glenadene
YASUKO FURUHASHI
B: 1932-06-18
D: 2020-01-19
View Details
FURUHASHI, YASUKO
Juanita O'Neal
B: 1937-02-19
D: 2020-01-16
View Details
O'Neal, Juanita
James Buchanan
B: 1944-02-16
D: 2020-01-13
View Details
Buchanan, James
GLORIA MIMS-HUFFMAN
B: 1922-11-22
D: 2020-01-12
View Details
MIMS-HUFFMAN, GLORIA
Mildred Hawkins
B: 1929-08-14
D: 2020-01-12
View Details
Hawkins, Mildred
Snowdie Martin
B: 1918-07-08
D: 2020-01-08
View Details
Martin, Snowdie
Juana Luna
B: 1951-06-22
D: 2020-01-02
View Details
Luna, Juana

Search

Use the form above to find your loved one. You can search using the name of your loved one, or any family name for current or past services entrusted to our firm.

Click here to view all obituaries
Search Obituaries
1455 N. Fair Oaks Avenue
Pasadena, CA 91103
Phone: 626-798-8941
Fax: 626-798-0195

Grieving

Death is the hard side of life.  Losing someone we love causes us to experience a lot of emotions and to exhibit behaviors that come under the umbrella of grief.  Grieving is a difficult, but normal response to loss. Consider this article:

Whenever we face loss, we experience grief. Our reactions are unique and individual; none of us experience grief in the same way.
           
Not only are each of us different, but our losses are different as well.  Some may grieve a spouse, others a child, parent, brother, sister, or friend.  Each of these relationships is unique.  Some may have been close; others may have had tension or conflict.  Circumstances may differ: Some losses are sudden while others follow a prolonged illness.  And, we may each be able to draw upon different levels of support.
           
As we experience loss, we may need to remind ourselves of these basic facts.  Sometimes we torture ourselves wondering why we do not respond as others, even our family members, do.  But each of us is different.
           
We may feel anger-anger at God, towards the person who died, perhaps towards someone who we feel is not responding the way we’d like him or her to respond.  We may feel guilt, too.  Could we have done something differently or done more?  We may even feel responsible for the loss.
           
Other emotions are common.  Feeling of sadness, longing for the person’s presence, jealousy of others who have not experienced our loss, even relief that a prolonged illness has ended-these all may trouble us, but they are normal and natural responses to grief.  Grief may affect us in other ways.  Sometimes, the experience of grief may be physical: aches and pains, difficulty eating or sleeping, fatigue.  We may constantly think of the person, even replaying in our mind some final episode or experience.  Grief can affect our spiritual selves.  We may struggle to find meaning in our loss: our relationship with our God may change.
           
I often describe grief as a roller coaster.  It is full of ups and downs, highs and lows-times that we may think we are doing better and times that we are sure we are not. The metaphor reminds us that our sense of progress may feel very uneven.
           
But there are things we can do to help ourselves as we experience grief.  First, it is important to accept the fact that we are grieving.  Take time to grief, to realize that life will be different and sometimes difficult.  We need to be gentle with ourselves.
           
Second, we can learn from the ways we have handled loss before. We need to draw on our resources-the coping skills we have, our own sources of support, and our spiritual strengths.  And from earlier experiences, we can learn the mistakes we need to avoid.            

We do not have to struggle alone.  We can share our grief with family and friends.  We can seek help from clergy or counselors.  Hospices and funeral homes may be able to suggest mutual support groups, and librarians and bookstores can point us to books that can assist us as we grieve. 

Written by Kenneth J. Doka, PhD., MDiv.


Gail Valentine Taylor, M.S.W.

Woods-Valentine Mortuary

(626)  798-8941

gailt@woodsvalentinemortuary.com

52 Weeks of Support

It's hard to know what to say when someone experiences loss. Our free weekly newsletter provides insights, quotes and messages on how to help during the first year.